“I’m pregnant”
She still stood there and so did he… she anticipated the silence and stare of shock but she couldn’t help but wonder if he now saw her different, perhaps less attractive. It was a bit silly she knew as she was only about three weeks gone and there were no major changes in her body yet…but thinking about something a little less serious than the news she had just delivered seemed appropriate. Plus she’s had the whole of last week to go through what he was presently going through… thoughts spamming his beautiful mind, panic climbing up his spine, taking its time to get to his brain. She decide to go hold his hand in hers, she had anticipated a slight rebuff on his part and she had warned herself seriously not to read into it because it didn’t mean he didn’t love her anymore just a reaction coming from the shock… surprisingly as soon as she reached him and took his hands in hers he grabbed her into a tight hold and squeezed. She wasn’t expecting this… the emotion she could feel through him caught her off guard plus the fact that her hormones were going off on tangents… she started crying… unaware if it was because she was now scared or moved by just how overwhelming this really was; she pushed aside all silly thoughts she had been entertaining all day. What were they going to do? She finally realised that she wasn’t ready to hear what he wanted to do because she had just unconsciously realised that she wanted this baby… no matter how crazy it was… but keeping it without him defeated the purpose. Having something half hers half his, truly theirs inside of her had formed a mental protective shield of any options that involved getting rid what was inside of her. Her hear thumped faster now, she felt her palms gather sweat… his heart beat was fast but at the same time slower than hers…. What were they going to do? She loved him and in the past had done anything for the sake of what they shared but now she was faced with the one thing that could jeopardise that and yet she couldn’t budge on her unconscious decision. He has to want it too, he has too she demanded in prayer silently. This wasn’t totally out of the plan for their lives, just about two years early, but the important thing was that it was in the plan. They could work it out; she knew it but just not how. She hadn’t stopped to consider the respective families involved, right now she was in a bubble… it always happened when she was with, she somehow always managed to exist in a world with just the two of them… she knew he could face the rest of the world if she could just get the foundation started right here between them… he pulled her away looked at her, she still couldn’t read his expression but it didn’t look bad or terminal so she relaxed a bit. Felt like her heart expanded a bit with the stare they held… he finally asked the question she was expecting but still not ready for … “what we going to do?”…. she couldn’t just blurt out that she wanted to keep it… as unlikely as it was, she couldn’t have him thinking that she planned this all along. She didn’t… and she wasn’t mad either. She didn’t know the first thing about situations like this and in the craziness going on in her head all that stood out was the fact that she had to keep it… not overly religious but coming from a Godly enough home she knew this much… God never gave you things He knew you couldn’t handle, and He would never joke with a gift that many others were waiting on him for. There had to be a meaning to this… crazy how she had come to all these conclusions on her own in the space of a week. “I think WE should keep it”… a look of slight horror and shock flashed across his face…. Caused her tummy to churn in a sickening way despite her current state of constant nausea…. “ I don’t think I’m ready for this” he said…. “ neither am I but I know we can work this out, I know we can” she said…she walked up to him as he was now backing her and held him from the waist…. “ I don’t know the first thing about this but having you makes all the difference in the world” she whispered….. He turned around and she expected to have pulled at some of his heart strings but his face no longer reflected horror or shock just a blank stare… “I don’t want this, I’m just not ready for this now, and you know we can’t handle this NOW. See sense in what I’m saying, what would your parents say? We have to get rid of IT” she walked away startled like she had just been burnt… in an unfamiliar state all she could muster was “No”….. He held her by the shoulders, stared into her face and said “you have to do this for us”... Quick flashback to all the things she HAD done for this relationship, it was endless but she somehow couldn’t shake this one off…. This was bizarrely what she wanted… it was hers too and if he loved her he would consider it… no matter how absurd it was… “No”, she said again… he let go of her shoulders, looked away from her and said “well I can’t support you in this decision” the tears came down her face hot and fast… she felt betrayal amongst other things….
She still stood there and so did he… she anticipated the silence and stare of shock but she couldn’t help but wonder if he now saw her different, perhaps less attractive. It was a bit silly she knew as she was only about three weeks gone and there were no major changes in her body yet…but thinking about something a little less serious than the news she had just delivered seemed appropriate. Plus she’s had the whole of last week to go through what he was presently going through… thoughts spamming his beautiful mind, panic climbing up his spine, taking its time to get to his brain. She decide to go hold his hand in hers, she had anticipated a slight rebuff on his part and she had warned herself seriously not to read into it because it didn’t mean he didn’t love her anymore just a reaction coming from the shock… surprisingly as soon as she reached him and took his hands in hers he grabbed her into a tight hold and squeezed. She wasn’t expecting this… the emotion she could feel through him caught her off guard plus the fact that her hormones were going off on tangents… she started crying… unaware if it was because she was now scared or moved by just how overwhelming this really was; she pushed aside all silly thoughts she had been entertaining all day. What were they going to do? She finally realised that she wasn’t ready to hear what he wanted to do because she had just unconsciously realised that she wanted this baby… no matter how crazy it was… but keeping it without him defeated the purpose. Having something half hers half his, truly theirs inside of her had formed a mental protective shield of any options that involved getting rid what was inside of her. Her hear thumped faster now, she felt her palms gather sweat… his heart beat was fast but at the same time slower than hers…. What were they going to do? She loved him and in the past had done anything for the sake of what they shared but now she was faced with the one thing that could jeopardise that and yet she couldn’t budge on her unconscious decision. He has to want it too, he has too she demanded in prayer silently. This wasn’t totally out of the plan for their lives, just about two years early, but the important thing was that it was in the plan. They could work it out; she knew it but just not how. She hadn’t stopped to consider the respective families involved, right now she was in a bubble… it always happened when she was with, she somehow always managed to exist in a world with just the two of them… she knew he could face the rest of the world if she could just get the foundation started right here between them… he pulled her away looked at her, she still couldn’t read his expression but it didn’t look bad or terminal so she relaxed a bit. Felt like her heart expanded a bit with the stare they held… he finally asked the question she was expecting but still not ready for … “what we going to do?”…. she couldn’t just blurt out that she wanted to keep it… as unlikely as it was, she couldn’t have him thinking that she planned this all along. She didn’t… and she wasn’t mad either. She didn’t know the first thing about situations like this and in the craziness going on in her head all that stood out was the fact that she had to keep it… not overly religious but coming from a Godly enough home she knew this much… God never gave you things He knew you couldn’t handle, and He would never joke with a gift that many others were waiting on him for. There had to be a meaning to this… crazy how she had come to all these conclusions on her own in the space of a week. “I think WE should keep it”… a look of slight horror and shock flashed across his face…. Caused her tummy to churn in a sickening way despite her current state of constant nausea…. “ I don’t think I’m ready for this” he said…. “ neither am I but I know we can work this out, I know we can” she said…she walked up to him as he was now backing her and held him from the waist…. “ I don’t know the first thing about this but having you makes all the difference in the world” she whispered….. He turned around and she expected to have pulled at some of his heart strings but his face no longer reflected horror or shock just a blank stare… “I don’t want this, I’m just not ready for this now, and you know we can’t handle this NOW. See sense in what I’m saying, what would your parents say? We have to get rid of IT” she walked away startled like she had just been burnt… in an unfamiliar state all she could muster was “No”….. He held her by the shoulders, stared into her face and said “you have to do this for us”... Quick flashback to all the things she HAD done for this relationship, it was endless but she somehow couldn’t shake this one off…. This was bizarrely what she wanted… it was hers too and if he loved her he would consider it… no matter how absurd it was… “No”, she said again… he let go of her shoulders, looked away from her and said “well I can’t support you in this decision” the tears came down her face hot and fast… she felt betrayal amongst other things….
No comments:
Post a Comment